Let's Celebrate Bisexual Visibility Day!

It's Bisexual Visibility Day! September 23rd 2024 is a day for celebrating, advocating for, and listening to the stories of people who identify as bisexual.

There's a lot of misinformation and harmful stereotypes about bisexuality. Some say we're greedy, indecisive, or actually just straight/gay and trying to be quirky. I say: fuck those people.

Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone's sexuality, including your own. - The Bisexual Manifesto (Published in Anything That Moves, 1990)

So, what are we doing to mark the day? Simple: we're making ourselves visible! A handful of bisexual In ConteXXXt writers have taken the time to share their stories, and talk about their personal experience with bisexuality.

Meet the Bisexuals

Erin (They/Them)

I'm bisexual, non-binary, genderfluid, and polyamorous. My Sun is in Gemini and my Rising sign is Libra. I could make a painfully predictable jab at how 'indecisive' I am, but that's a tired, rusted, frustratingly reductive gateway into succinctly communicating who I am and where I'm coming from.

It's hard to find a way of saying I contain multitudes that doesn't come off as some kind of pretentious God complex or an empty cliché. Don't we all contain multitudes, broadly speaking? It's quite an abstract, nebulous way of putting it, but to say I feel like everything and nothing simultaneously, but never just one ‘side’ in its all-encompassing entirety, just feels right to me.

As someone who only loosely identifies with any form of gender, I think it makes complete sense that it doesn't factor into whether or not I'm attracted to a given person. 

Many people who experience attraction similarly describe themselves as pansexual, instead of or in addition to identifying as bisexual - I opt for bisexual, à la the gender-inclusive umbrella term defined by the Bay Area Bisexual Network in their seminal 1990 manifesto, but any of the aforementioned variants are equally valid ways to self-describe.

Gwyn Yvere (Any Pronouns)

Sexuality has always been an… interesting journey for me. See, I never fell into the trap of compulsory heterosexuality–I always knew I was a lady lover (which is honestly surprising since I grew up in a religious African household). It was the men I had trouble reconciling with (unless they're fictional… I will not elaborate).

I've had more girlfriends than boyfriends, and I used to straight up identify as a lesbian (despite knowing the title didn't really fit for me). But when I decided to allow myself to truly be myself without worrying about fitting this idea of what I was supposed to be, that's when bisexuality started feeling like a relatively better label for me to ascribe to. And while I still have so many questions about who I am and what the fuck bisexuality even really means, I feel pretty confident in identifying however the fuck I feel. And if it changes (again), it's still okay.

The world doesn't end because I don't have the “right” label. I still get to fuck whoever I want, so that's fine with me!

Ariana Quinn

Sexuality is often a confusing topic, with many people struggling for large portions of their life to figure out which of the ever expanding repertoire of labels fits best. Bisexual feels right. I like pretty people, whatever box they fit into and I always have.

In the same vein, we often tend to try and separate our sexuality from the rest of ourselves, as though it is a discrete part of our identities and not a lens that colours our whole lived experience.

My attraction informs my identity and vice versa. Being bisexual made it a whole lot more confusing to figure out that I was a transsexual woman, because for years I didn’t realise that my deep connection and attraction to women was often a desire to be them, not just be with them.

We are shunned due to our proximity to straightness by other LGBTQ+ siblings, leading to a strange paradox where the only people who seem to truly desire another bisexual person are bisexuals themselves. Sometimes I forgo a label entirely for this reason. Just because I like both genders, doesn’t mean I like every person that looks my way!

Jess B (She/Her)

I was 15 when I came out as bisexual to my friend- 10 years ago now. It took me a year after that to be out in front of the world. I remember the feelings I had growing up- of confusion, and shame. I was attracted to guys, and I didn’t see myself as a lesbian- but I definitely felt something a lot more than friendship for girls. Growing up, I didn’t really know anyone that was out and proud, and I’d always heard people say that bisexuals were just ‘greedy’ and ‘indecisive’.

Over the years, I’ve felt the need to over explain myself every time I’m in a heterosexual relationship- like my bisexuality was something to be proven. Like it even needs an explanation. When in relationships with girls, I felt like people viewed me as ‘having a phase’. I’ve had ex partners and strangers fetishize me, and it got to me so much that for a while I stopped telling people. 

But ultimately, my love is too beautiful of a thing to hide, and I have too much of it to box away.

I can’t control people’s reactions, but I can take control of my happiness. I can put myself out there, be proud, and surround myself with other people who judge less and love hard. And that’s exactly what my bisexual polyamorous ass is going to continue to do.