Is the Gen-Z Sex Recession REAL?
'EMERGENCY! Gen-Z aren’t fucking!!! They’re all doomed to a lacklustre life of celibacy and depression. What can we do to help this sexless generation?' - People who prioritise statistics over the voices/experience of Gen-Z.
Studies say we’re having less sex than previous generations, but is the ‘Gen-Z sex recession’ real? Are we really in a crisis of intimacy? Or is this panic and commentary about if and how we’re fucking a tad overdramatic?
Statistics can’t tell a full story. The landscape of intimacy is moulded by the world around us, and that world has changed significantly over the last couple of decades.
Of course sex and relationship trends are different between Gen-Z and previous generations. If everyone fucked at a consistent rate throughout history, the world would likely be very different now.
I can only talk from personal experience. I can’t tell the full story, just my part in it. But that’s exactly what we need right now: actual Gen-Z voices being heard over the statistics and fearmongering that dominate this conversation.
Is This Fucking Play About Us?
We’re the stars of the show. The spotlight’s on Gen-Z and everyone’s waiting for us to keep up the proud tradition of getting at it like rabbits for the benefit of humanity as a whole. It’s both amazing and embarrassing how much of a role our sex lives play in the minds of other generations.
How can someone who grew up without constant internet access understand what sex and dating are like for those in the ‘social media generation’? How could someone who didn’t have a portion of their core developmental years interrupted by a pandemic know what intimacy feels like after that experience? (I could go on…)
I’m not here to dispute the studies and statistics, but I’m frustrated with how they’re being interpreted by some journalists, bloggers, and online communities.
First, a lot of these studies are based in Western countries, specifically America, and usually only survey a few thousand people. The results are then used by certain publications and groups to make sweeping generalisations about Gen-Z as a whole.
The second issue is the popular focus on traditional sexual experiences, which aren’t necessarily the norm, or at least the only common practice, any more.
And the biggest issue? That people interpret a decline in regular physical partnered sex as an issue rather than just a thing that’s happening. Yes, some of us don’t fuck. So what?
I don’t agree that Gen-Z as a whole can or should be categorised as ‘sex-free’, but I also don’t see any problem with there being a percentage of us currently or permanently refraining from traditional forms of sex (or refraining from sex altogether).
Why Some People Think There's a Gen-Z Sex Recession
There are plenty of possible reasons for the statistical decline in sex among Gen-Z, and I don’t think any of them are as worrying as the internet can make them seem.
Alternative Sexual Expression
How these studies measure sexual activity can be fairly limited. In most that I’ve come across, sexual activity is measured only in partnered sex, where you are both physically in the same room and engage in traditional sexual acts (e.g., penetration).
Thankfully, there are also studies that do include alternative sexual expression in their data. The Lovehoney and Kinsey Institute study, for example, found that of the people asked:
57% of the participants who haven’t engaged in traditional sex have engaged in sexual activities they wouldn’t count as ‘sex’.
31% of those who hadn’t had sex at all said that they had still engaged in cyber sex.
The Lovehoney and Kinsey study isn’t any more suitable for making sweeping generalisations than any other study. BUT this study was more open with their interpretation of sexual activity than others that I’ve found online or seen commonly quoted.
When you expand your definition of sex and intimacy to include new and less traditional experiences, you’ll find that our sex lives aren’t in a dramatic and worrying decline. They’re just different from other generations.
Many of Us Don't Live Alone
Buying or renting your own place isn’t as affordable now as it was for our parents/grandparents generation. Many of us in Gen-Z don’t have the funds to live alone or move out of our family home.
Some of us are lucky enough to have a place for ourselves (rented or bought) but it’s not exactly the norm for our generation. Cost of living and all that.
It’s not easy having sex, or even masturbating, at home if there’s a risk someone (especially if it’s someone you’re related to) might know what you’re up to. Even if you’re open about sex, it can be uncomfortable when you realise your attempts at being discreet during a private moment failed.
If you’ve experienced the horror of having a family member unknowingly walk in on an intimate moment, you’ll know how daunting bringing home a sexual partner can be.
Scattered Information = Lack of Conversation
There’s plenty of information out there about sex, but not everyone can access it. There are sexperts working to deepen our understanding of the subject, but in many places sex education is pretty shit.
Sex is an open secret. We know it exists, but we don’t really talk about it. When we do it’s not with the same normalcy and comfort that we talk about other perfectly natural aspects of life that might bring us pleasure (like eating). There’s even some discomfort with using the language surrounding it.
The lack of information (or at least easily accessible information) means some of us simply don’t know what we’re doing. We don’t know how to approach sex or how to talk about it, and that makes it difficult to do it.
Some of us do feel like we can talk about sex, but it’s not always simple. Stigma and lack of widespread information surrounding sex can create a barrier to open, honest, and direct conversation.
It’s frustrating trying to connect with people who actively avoid important conversations about your shared experience, people who beat around the bush and cause uncertainty, and people who treat sex like some dirty little secret.
If you’re worried about a ‘sex recession’ or ‘decline in intimacy’, shift your focus to championing quality, open, and accessible sex education. Lack of information and dialogue are massive hurdles in anyone’s journey to discovering and exploring their needs and desires.
Content Saturation
Porn and erotic content is available to a large number of Gen-Z. Ethical porn free from unrealistic narratives and expectations is less common. (Shout out to platforms like MakeLoveNotPorn for showing real, consensual and healthy sexual experiences).
Porn can warp our sense of sex and intimacy. It can morph our desires and fantasies, influence our sex drives, and transform the way we view and treat our sexual partners. Unfortunately, this is usually not for the better.
Access to porn is a blessing and a curse. It puts pressure on people to act a certain way, to be like the pornstars they or their partner finds hot, to do things you don’t want to because ‘it’s just what people do, I’ve seen plenty of other people do it.” Porn has the ability to make a person’s relationship with sex and intimacy crumble.
It’s great that there’s a whole industry dedicated to erotic media, that people who like sex and performance can get out there and know that people are enjoying their work.
It’s fucked that a lack of standards and care is commonplace for many porn companies/distributors, and that pleasure is usually presented through a very narrow and detached lens.
Intimacy Isn’t Gone, It Just Looks Different
The world isn’t the same for us as it was for our parents. With so much change in the last couple of decades or so, it’s no surprise that our habits have changed too. We engage with intimacy in new ways because we experience life in new ways. A decline in traditional sexual experiences doesn’t mean a decline in intimacy, or personal pleasure.
All this to say: stop worrying about a Gen-Z sex recession. Focus on your own needs instead.
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